At this time of year, the talk about New Year’s resolutions can be a bit much for some. Some of us are motivated by sudden bursts of goal setting and activity, while others hesitate to start as they know it will inevitably end in them feeling disappointed with themselves. Why do New Year’s resolutions often fail? How can you make 2012 a better year for you without setting yourself up for failure?

Why Resolutions Often Don’t Work

Our resolutions are often set out of a distorted view of two realities – the past and the future. We often refuse to take into consideration our personality, preferences, and our past attempts at achieving the goal in question. This is all valuable information from the past that can help us set goals/resolutions that we are more likely to achieve. So if you want to improve your social life and you set yourself the goal to be more outgoing, go out dancing every week, and frequent your local trendy bar you could be setting yourself up for a fall. If you love all these things then great, but if you do love them that much then it is likely that you are already doing them. If you are naturally reserved and like to spend time at home with a few close friends, you may find yourself giving up on this goal very quickly. What’s worse, if you don’t realise what has happened you may become self-critical and start to feel that something is wrong with you. Your goals need to be right for you. So what about your future?

Very few of us like working hard on pointless things because there is no drive to keep us going. If we set goals that aren’t really attached to our overall long term goals and desires then we are likely to give up. Your goals or resolutions need to be set in line with your values and true desires, not what you think you ‘should’ do! ‘Should’ goals often come from other people, their motivation and their sense of obligation. So if your friends are telling you that you need to find a partner, they are possibly telling you that you ‘shouldn’t’ be single or that you ‘should’ join their club. They may feel that you would be happier with someone, they may be jealous of your freedom and be having a dig, they may have been put under pressure by others to find someone and feel the need to pass that pressure on to you. Whatever the case, if you make it a goal to find someone when you aren’t truly ready, then your goal isn’t your own and could lead you down a path that could create a lot of pain.

Are You Being Too Hasty?

Resolutions can be like trying to put the cherry on top of a cake you haven’t made yet! What do I mean by this? Well, I mean that you could be setting a goal for yourself that would require you to have achieved other goals first. Many of my clients come to me initially with goals they want to achieve, but while they are really great goals, they are often not the pressing issue. We often set goals for ourselves that would be the natural consequence of achieving another one. For example, imagine you want to improve your appearance and be more ‘attractive’. You may set the goal of dressing in a certain way each day or following certain beauty/health regimes. However, if your self esteem is low and you think nothing of yourself then you may struggle to keep up with this goal, particularly the parts of your regime that aren’t visible to others. If you were to work on improving your self esteem and respect then you would find that it would be easier to take care of yourself because your belief in your own worth would steadily grow.

Start Designing the 2012 You Really Want!

The key to your New Year is to be courageous and look your true desires and goals in the face. This can be challenging to do when sharing our thoughts with others as their agendas come into play, so an objective space is desirable. Coaching can offer you this space and you would have the support to reconcile the following aspects relating to your identity:

• Who you are.
• Who you think you are.
• Who you think you should be.
• Who you actually want to be.

Going back to the cake we spoke of earlier, depending on the kind of cake you want to make, you will need certain ingredients. You will also have to mix them in a particular way. Part of the ingredients you have available to you are found in your personality. Understanding your personality can help you set better goals and approach them in a way that increases your chance of success and minimises pressure. Find out more about DISC profiling or Take Your DISC Personality Profile Now!

Special Offer!

For January only, we are offering a Complimentary 2012 Design Coaching Session! You will get:

• A 30 minute coaching session with Melanie A. Forde, Professional Coach and DISC Practitioner.
• Gain clarity on what you truly want for 2012.
• Set yourself up for success not failure.
• Boost your motivation.
• Get the support you’ll need to make lasting changes.
• Create a mini action plan to get you moving in the right direction!

There are only 10 Complimentary ‘2012 Design Coaching Sessions’ available, so reserve your session now via email! To reserve your session:

1. Email us and put ‘2012 Design Coaching Session’ as the subject.
2. Include your telephone number and the area you live in.
3. Tell us a little about what has motivated you to book your session.
4. Indicate whether a morning, daytime, or evening session would be best for you.
5. You will get an email from Melanie Forde within 24 hours with available dates and times.
6. Let us know the date and time you can commit to.
7. You will receive a short questionnaire to complete which you will send before your session.
8. Melanie will call you at the agreed time for your ‘2012 Design Coaching Session’!

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