There are times when we can be so hard on ourselves that we buckle under the pressure. We may count on our good friends to come and tell us that we are doing well. Our true friends will help us to appreciate our strengths and our achievements, especially if we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. But what would you do if you didn’t have anyone to encourage you? Would you be able to step in and be your own best friend?

Encourage Yourself Regularly

We all have different personalities, so some of us have a greater need for encouragement than others. I personally think that we all benefit from support from others, some of us know how to recycle that encouragement in our minds and use it to keep us going; others need constant attention and reassurance. Wherever you see yourself on that scale, becoming self-sufficient emotionally will give you extra strength. Throughout the day, look for things to pat yourself on the back for and use them to balance out any setbacks during the day.

Give Yourself Permission To Feel Good

Sometimes we wait for certain circumstances to be in place before we allow ourselves to feel happy or to feel love. Perhaps you are waiting for that special person to come into your life before you can feel good. Maybe you are waiting for your boss to recognise your hard work before you can feel happy at work. You might wait for your best friend to tell you how lovely you look, or that you deserve to be loved. Why not give yourself permission to feel good now?[1] When all the things you were waiting for turn up, you’ll feel even better!

Create A Warmer Inner Voice

We all talk to ourselves and pass judgement on others and ourselves.  Notice if you are very critical of others because that could be coming from your own feelings of discontent. The negative feelings you have for others can hurt you and negative feelings you have for yourself can be terribly destructive. Practise being kind to yourself and others. Notice the thoughts you have about yourself, take a step back, and ask yourself whether they are truly fair comments.

Hard On The Task, Kind To Yourself!

Being proactive means that you will be pushing ahead to achieve your goals in life and that will involve some hard work. When working with my clients I ensure they consider all their circumstances so that the goals they set stretch them but do not panic or stress them out. There is nothing wrong with moving forward at a pace that is right for you. Just keep moving forward.

If you find being kind on yourself a challenge and you want to change that, contact us for an initial consultation to find out whether coaching is what will help you make that change.[2]

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” – African Proverb

[2] Coaching is not always the right form of support for everyone. If an individual may benefit more from another form of support such as counselling, this will be identified at the initial consultation.